ive loved and ive lost but right now

im loving and im winning

thirteen months and

something days full of

social anxiety in crowded basement rooms

smiling for the camera while people stare at me to

my left

and make fun of me to my right

talk amongst each other about why im not talking

to my boyfriend

but now the girls voices are harmonizing and

everyone’s concerns fade away

it its beautiful

tears welling up in my eyes.

we go to bed and rise again

to drink whiskey with apple juice

no cider in town talk about our bad relationships

and things we should regret but don’t.

nothing like early morning love

and going to bed when people are getting up

waking up to bruised purple lips and the love of your life

snoring

but waking up to the love of your life

at noontime the librarian apologizes for being

surly with me today

he has a hangover

me too bud

but ive loved every minute of it my dear

feeling the pain is sweeter than dealing with it

whats the point in fixing the problem

when i too will be food for the worms